I now realize you can no longer post anything anywhere or even voice an opinion, because the internet has made everyone so vocal that your opinion will get shouted down by opinionated others. When everyone is an activist, you can have no say. Yes, I did generalize things too much there, but I am also trying to encompass everything.
I am a feminist, but not militantly so. I like having equality. Not to say I don’t enjoy the occasional pampering (girls love it when a guy is a gentleman, everyone knows that), because I do. I love being looked after. However, I don’t hang around for people to take care of me. If I can do something, I will. In fact, I am one of those women who will lead the way whether it is climbing rocks and mountains or just down a road. I was taught to lean on no one but myself. In that way I am a feminist, because I believe in myself and my ability.
So where does this little tirade lead to? To the fact that some misogynistic guys cannot accept that women value themselves. If I add a shared post on facebook about how women do not wait for guys but make their own lives and believe their worth so expect a guy who is worth her, BAM comes the reply, she will be single for a long time, because she expects too much. I believe in everyone’s right to say what they want, but at what point do you say enough of this militant refusal of everything a woman says? I know men do not identify as a group based on their biological conditions, but women do, because of historical reasons. I do not want to remind at length at whose hands women suffered, because that is beside the point, and not at all my intention. The past is the past and women have now started to look forward. But, when are men going to accept that women want to share their voices too? Why must they feel like they need to shut a woman down? They think a woman’s opinion is irrelevant. I thought we were beyond this. There are so many sensitive and understanding men out there, we are no longer barbaric. There are many male feminists. Then why oh why can’t we at least allow a woman to say what she wants.
Men attempt to shape the way we respond to men, the way we argue, and the way we portray our feminism. Men need to remember we are not attacking them personally. It is not that I, woman A, am saying you, man A, are bad. My arguments are more diverse, more varied. Yes, sometimes it may feel you don’t understand it. But that may be because you have never lived our history, and seen it through our eyes. Simple example: a man “looking at/ogling” a woman. He thinks highly of himself while all she wants to do is hide. The reason for this:he is salivating over her body. Women find that offensive, but men don’t. It is the way we are, both of us. But the understanding needs to come from the man because his actions hurt another human which is wrong in our democratic world. Of course, if you don’t see her as human, but only as a piece of meat, I understand you will find it hard to understand her needs.
And yes, I am aware of the concepts of healthy debate and democracy. But, my contention is, when the woman is not allowed to say anything about women without having a barrage of insults hurled at all womankind, where is there healthy debate? And I loved healthy debate: I have debated much in the past few years. (Granted I no longer have the energy, time, or the desire for it – I let people say what they want). So it is not that I cannot take it. It is simply this arrogance and intolerance I cannot understand.
So, that is my rant for the day 🙂 It is definitely not something I ever thought I will post about, but there are times when all you can do is tell your secrets to the wind.